15 Keys to an Excellent First Date

15 Keys to an Excellent First Date


  1. Prepare your soundbites. These are short stories that make you sound interesting, fun, and unique. Do them right and you’ll be memorable. Don’t tell her you’re a geek who likes to play Halo. That’s predictable and obvious. Tell her how you combined your love of website design with yoga to create a blog that teaches parents how to introduce yoga to their kids. I realize you may not have something like that but there’s got to be something unique and unexpected about you!
  2. Don’t be late. Nothing tells your date that she isn’t important like showing up late. First impressions matter.
  3. Dress up, instead of down. It’s never a bad thing to look a little too good instead of the opposite. Clothes do matter. Your date will form an impression of you in the first 15 seconds, so make it a good one.
  4. Don’t let the conversation stall. Try one of my 30 First Date Questions if you get stuck.
  5. Smile a lot and laugh. Look like you’re having a good time or your date won’t want to do this again.
  6. Listen more than you talk. I’ve said this before but I can’t say it enough. We are a culture starving to be listened to. We broadcast our most minor thoughts throughout the Internet, desperate to be read. Listening is much more powerful than talking.
  7. Compliment him and flirt. Try to offer at least one honest compliment to your date. Flirting is meant to make the other person feel good. Don’t be creepy or overtly sexual, just make them feel like they’re amazing and you’re lucky to spend time with them.
  8. Be generous. If you want the date to continue, be the first to offer to buy another round when she gets to end of her drink.
  9. Break the touch barrier. This is a tough one and it’s better if she does it first. See if you can lightly touch his arm about halfway through the date. If he touches you back, keep going, you’re on the right track.
  10. Coffee says I’m interested in you. Drinks says I’m interested in sleeping with you. If you’re not sure about your dates proclivities, try asking her out to coffee first. If you don’t drink, don’t ask your date out to a bar. It just makes it look like you’re trying to get her drunk while you sip soda.
  11. Banish distractions. Don’t check your phone. Don’t look around the room. Don’t sit there and think about your day or what you need to do next. Be fully present for your date. It’s the best present you can give them.
  12. Reassure her. Ok I know you’re nervous but your date is too! Tell her you’re having a great time talking to her. Tell him you find him interesting/intelligent/anything you can honestly say to reassure him.
  13. Confidence is sexy. I know it’s hard but you’ve gotta fake it until you make it.
  14. Be positive. Nothing says “steer clear” to a girl like some guy who spends half a date complaining about his job/ex-girlfriend/apartment/family or whatnot. Keep the first date topics upbeat and fun.
  15. Bonus advice. Check out my articles on Low-stakes First Dates.


Photo by BigBirdz


  1. HHIS I sohlud have thought of that!

  2. Your pstoing really straightened me out. Thanks!

  3. You actually make it seem so easy with your presentation but
    I find this topic to be really something that I think I would never understand.
    It seems too complicated and extremely broad for me.

    I’m looking forward for your next post, I’ll try to get the hang of it!

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