Unique Online Dating First Message Tactics

Unique Online Dating First Message Tactics

You know why Nigerian scammers leave typos in their emails? People who notice typos are also smart enough to know that dethroned royalty do not need their help to get cash out of the country. Your first message can attract the right matches by being as unique as you are.

You’ll attract better matches by customizing your message to appeal to the type of people you want to date. Don’t copy the messages below, update them to work for you.

Prove You Read Every Word Of That Profile

A long-term couple posted this example of a message he sent her on Match (which used Winks and she had commented how lame they were.

I keep flicking back to your profile, and trying to think of something witty to say. But I’m so impressed with your elephant-riding, cow-eyeball-licking, pi-remembering self that I think my brain has partially shut down, and I have become functionally retarded. (I am also having trouble turning left, but that comes and goes.) So.


There, it’s a wink, but with context. A meta-wink, I guess.

Speak In A Language You Both Understand

A female programmer posted she often gets first messages in code like the example below. The message builds rapport by proving you share something. Poseurs will be quickly tossed though, she deletes every message she receives with syntax errors.

likes {

echo “I love the format of your profile.”;





if ( $TheReply > ‘0’){


echo “woot!”;



echo “hope you have a good week”;


Make A Provoking Bet

This guy mitigates the complimenting her looks pitfall by making a claim that would provoke most women to have a strong reaction. Additionally it puts his target and him on the same side of an argument, subtly bounding them from the first interaction. This message could be improved by mentioning something specific about the target’s profile so it wasn’t so obvious that it’s a cut and paste message that he can send to thousands of women.

I really enjoyed your profile. While you are indeed aesthetically pleasing, your profile caught my friends attention and read it over my shoulder. She claims that due to the lack of information, your profile was written by a man. Naturally, came to your defense and told her that there is no way. So we argued about it and put down $20 as a bet. So are you really who you say you are? Or am I out 20 bucks…

Go Hilarious

If all else fails, making them laugh will prove you’re funny, which a lot of people value in potential partners.

I would swim the Amazon River with 45lbs dumbbells tied to my scrotum and Rosie O’Donnell on my back spitting gravy in my face just to have the chance to share a spaghetti dinner with you on a webcam with a dialup connection.

Or you can take a common message structure and make it funny.


I deeply regret that it is my unfortunate duty to bring it to your attention that you are above and beyond our maximum standards for looks. You are clearly a 9/10 and here on okcupid we only allow 6/10 maximum.

Your account will be CLOSED unless you reply to this message with your name, phone number, your favorite flower, how many Cheetos you can fit in your mouth at once (just curious) and if you prefer Chinese or Italian cuisine. This is very serious business and I would advise you not to take my message lightly or you might anger my boss Poseidon, the lord of the seas.


  1. Thanks designed for sharing such a nice idea, piece of writing is nice, thats why i have read it completely

  2. This is a great blog for those who are indeed doing online dating while me, I’m too shy to start a conversation thingy but I think this blog will be a big help for those newbies out there like me in online dating 🙂 http://a.to/14j5N8K

  3. I like the idea of making a provoking bet. This usually wouldn’t work for me but I can see in your example that it is actually really fun to egg on a little wager. Though I have not had this comment made to me yet, I could very well see myself going for that guy instead of the one that just said hi.

  4. I think these messages are quite long. Infact, I think they’re too long. While many women would like you to write them long messages as openers, I’ve found responses would still range from 0 to 25% of them. I admire your article. But in reality, it doesn’t matter what you say as much as it matters that you say something. ‘Interesting’ and ‘interested’ women will know how to play along and dumbasses that don’t know how to wittily reply or are still second guessing, just pass by.

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